Sunday, July 03, 2005
THE BIRD HATER
I’m astounded by the realization that I’m actually a scaredy cat. I so can’t believe this. I mean, my friends are perpetually advising and (occasionally) taunting me about this fact. I won’t do the complex yet terrifying dares and I’m actually scared of the teachers. HELLO?? What happened to being cool and don’t-carish???
My friends say that the day I actually pull off “THE DARE” (read: a stupid dare that I wouldn’t admit to anyone! So it has to be serious, right?) They’d forge my parent’s signatures on my report card to repay me for the admirable deed.
Yea right. Keep on waiting you friend-turned-foes. Its never gonna happen.
Take today for instance. I was performing the morning ablutions when unexpectedly I heard the “tweet-tweet” of a sparrow. Many people like birds. I don’t. Many people like kids. I don’t. Does that make me disgusting? Then disgusting I am. Anyways, you won’t believe what that accursed bird did. Get this: it flew right in my room!!
I mean, imagine a bird hater seeing one in his\her room. It’s like their worst nightmare.
The dratted thing just kept on flying and tweeting frantically and hysterically. On top of that, it started going near the fan. Doesn’t that bird have the freaking common sense that it can get fanned alive?
I’m sure if that bird borrowed my voice for a day it would have been screaming-“you stupid human!? Cant you see, I was so happy and you had to come”
Excuse me, stupid bird; do you realize who you’re messing with? THE BIRD HATER. I’m gonna scrape all those pretty feathers off if you play hanky panky with me.
But, in reality, I was scared. Can you imagine?? Of a bird?? I should go in for therapy!!
Well ok not scared more like terrified. Wait, that’s not exactly helping matters, huh?
P.S. - The word hate is just a way of dramatizing this blog. I really don’t hate anyone. Damn it, I don’t even know the meaning of hate.
P.P.S- As usual, I was exaggerating. I was not scared. More like angry at the pesky thing for even showing up in the first place.